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Thread: Momma Bears

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    Default Momma Bears

    Here is an old chesnut from MartialTalk that I started over there. Please keep in mind that this is no longer a current issue with me since this was originally written in 2004.

    How do the instructors here deal with Moma Bear Syndrome. You know the mothers that think their kid can do no wrong, encourages them to hit the other kids hard and the goes ballistic when their precious little darling get tagged back. The school I train at has this, we have a 160 pound 10 year old that loves to bully the other kids, his mother shouts for him to hit the other kids when sparring, and if her her precious gets hit back half as hard as he hits she goes nuts screaming at the other child, their parents and the school owner.

    Last sparring class she was shouting away and I warned her to be quiet when she did not I disqualified her child. To say she went ballistic was a mild understatement. She threatened to pull her child from class if I assisted the childrens classes anymore. The sad thing is the guy who owns the school is really hurting to keep the school open with the economy in the area. I have no problem not teaching the kids classes anymore but, but I hate her thinking she has that kind of power at the school.


    My first thought is pull the money together to buy out the school just so I can show her the door. I have also thought of paying the monthly tutition that all the other students except me pay(because I teach as much as the school owner)and going in to teach the next kids class to see what she will do. My third idea is just lay the ultimatium to the owner of the school, he can bow to her and let her control the kids class, and I find another place to train or he can tell to shut up, and maybe her kid won't turn out to be such a putz if he has to do as he is told.

    How would you handle this situation?
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    Rob, let me get this straight: the school is experiencing financial problems, and the owner is willing to risk this obnoxiouse woman and her foul brat running off several others just to keep her monthly check comeing? I realize it's easy to say this when it isn't my investment on the line, but this seems a little short sighted to me.

    Maybe you could help him find ways to cut expenses instead of buying out the problem. Find a smaller or cheaper building. Break the classes up and hold them in garrages. I don't know- but I can tell you that I've seen similar situations cause schools to close (not Kenpo, but all the same...).

    Tough situation, and I wish you luck. But, as with the krazykenpomom, you have to realize it is his school and his responsability to handle. if he doesn't, maybe you can pick up some of the pieces and keep going. But you probably won't be able to financially carry him through this, and the next, crises.

    Dan C
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    sifuroy is offline In Memory of our Departed Friend
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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    Putting up with either an obnoxous parent or kid can cost you to lose a lot of good students. The good ones want to have fun there,not be bullied around and screamed at by some obnoxous person. All of us have a hard time making it financialy some of the time but keeping one like that is not productive in the long run as it demorilizes the others and you lose the some ones.

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    sifuroy is offline In Memory of our Departed Friend
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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    Putting up with either an obnoxous parent or kid can cost you to lose a lot of good students. The good ones want to have fun there,not be bullied around and screamed at by some obnoxous person. All of us have a hard time making it financialy some of the time but keeping one like that is not productive in the long run as it demorilizes the others and you lose the some good ones.

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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    This mom needs to learn that she can not control the school. If that means losing her son so be it. Her lack of respect will reflect if not dealt with will grow to others. Any school is better off without the likes of her. I would give a warning and then follow through.
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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    As stated in the original post this was originally posted in 2004. Unfortunately that school died, the owner of that school found it easier to fold up instead of standing up to a bully and easier than actually doing any teaching.

    I revived the post to find out how people would handle the dreaded Momma Bears
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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    SifuDangeRuss is offline
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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    MommaBear? Do you go to school with your children? Do you stand over their shoulder during algebra class or US History? No? I see. Is this because you are not qualified to teach these courses, and the teachers are better equipped and educated to do so? I see. I suspect it probably also wouldn't be very beneficial, to either your child, or the other students in algebra to have you shouting instructions, over the teachers. Well, in this classroom? I have the experience and understanding of how to communicate the curriculum probably better than you. It makes it hard on the student, to try to follow too many teachers at once. I have successfully trained many students and my methods are based upon what has proven successful in the past. I promise, I won't follow you to your job, and scream out instructions on how I feel you could best do your job, as I will assume you probably know how to do it better than I do. Wouldn't you agree?
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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    I experienced this sort of thing as a student, but not an instructor. When I studied Jiu-Jitsu, we had matches every Friday night. We set up the ring and everything. There was one guy, who was actually grown, who's mom always came and was the biggest mouth in the crowd. I used to love it when Mr. Davis pitted me against him. The louder she'd shout, the more punishment I made sure he got. I was a little vindictive in my youth. LOL.

    Anyway, again maybe the answer is in administration. When a student that is a minor signs up make the parent(s) also sign a "parental expectations" form outlining the proper etiquette for the school. That way, if and when they show their butts you can hold it in front of thier face and say, "Now, now...you promised to behave like an adult and set a positive example for the kiddies." That would also aid in any contract disputes (if you have contracts) if the parent tried to pull the child from class and not continue to pay tuition as agreed.
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    Quote Originally Posted by Rob Broad View Post
    As stated in the original post this was originally posted in 2004. Unfortunately that school died, the owner of that school found it easier to fold up instead of standing up to a bully and easier than actually doing any teaching.

    I revived the post to find out how people would handle the dreaded Momma Bears
    See! What did I tell you?

    Next time it happens, sell them off as a cow/calf pair to the local McBelt factory.

    Dan C
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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    Heh, my former school chose a "mama bear" over me.

    Not my loss, as they think.
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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    This topic caused a stir on MartialTalk, and on a couple other forums, it has sat dormant for a while on here, lets see what you all think.
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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    Default Re: Momma Bears

    The dreaded Momma Bear lurks in every school and every sport, what do you all think is needed to deal with her
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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