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Thread: Feeling Vulnerable

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    execkenpo is offline
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    Default Feeling Vulnerable

    I just wanted to share an experience....

    Tonight I took my kids to the YMCA (son 5yrs old, daughter almost 2yrs) for my son's swimming lesson. I have a lbackback on my back, my daughter in a stroller and my son at my side heading down to the underground parking garage. Here's the dilemma, I have to get my kids in the car, strapped into booster seat and car seat as well as put all of the other stuff away and I'm on my own. At some point in this process I am totally vulnerable to attack and there is piss all I can do about it except to be awarre of what's going on around me. You can either jump me while I have my daugter in my arms, I can't drop her like a bag of groceries to deal with it,,,,or you can get me while my back is facing out (jiujitsu guys must love this) while strapping her in. Now I'm a trained person, and I am aware. If you think the Y is safe, I beg to differ. Our Y has programmes for just about anyone. I have been there on the weekend when the police have hosted b-ball games for the 'neighbourhoods' and they are checking for weapons at the door.

    So how do the women on the forum feel from day to day - trained or not woman are more vulnerable than men.

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Interesting dillemma.

    It's funny but I've never felt vulnerable doing those things -- until now. Thanks a lot. lol. Kidding.

    Keep an eye out for things around you and be aware of putting out that vibe that 'if you touch me or my kids, I'll kill you.'

    I try to radiate that in crowds.

    Makes me a real hit at parties.

    I had a friend with that attitude and she could part a room without even trying. It was impressive to watch.

    --Amy
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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    What about your feet?

    I'm sure, especially with your kids safety possibly at stake, that you could improvise and find a way to deal with an attacker if you really had to. Especially if you're aware of your surroundings and saw a potential threat approaching.
    It is good that you are thinking ahead and considering what to do in these cases. That shows you are really applying your "Kenpo." Once you evaluate what the dilema is, you can formulate plans to deal with it or how to avoid the situation altogehter.
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Ė Charles A. Beard

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    execkenpo is offline
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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by Celtic_Crippler View Post
    What about your feet?

    I'm sure, especially with your kids safety possibly at stake, that you could improvise and find a way to deal with an attacker if you really had to. Especially if you're aware of your surroundings and saw a potential threat approaching.
    It is good that you are thinking ahead and considering what to do in these cases. That shows you are really applying your "Kenpo." Once you evaluate what the dilema is, you can formulate plans to deal with it or how to avoid the situation altogehter.
    You make a good point about using my feet and I have considered that. I think in order to effectively kick while holding my child i would have to lean against the van (yes I drive a minivan, stop snickering - it was painful to trade in the convertable) to ensure I kept my balance. Now a back kick would be an option while strapping her in.

    I wanted to throw this one out there as food for thought. Keep coming with ideas, I can use them, share them with my wife and students.

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    execkenpo is offline
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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by Celtic_Crippler View Post
    What about your feet?

    it or how to avoid the situation altogehter.
    Avoiding these situations is not so easy if you want to live in the outside world. Though finding a 'better' place to take the kids swimming is an idea, but these situations can occur anywhere, the mall, grocery store, etc.

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    True, and a thrusting rear hell kick is reeeaaaalllly powerful.

    Maybe you could practice with some bags of flower to simulate how you hold your kids? Try some things out to see how they work in a dojo setting where you can evaluate the effectiveness of what you do.

    Then, once you have it all figured out you can write a paper or book on that aspect of how to apply Kenpo when loading your kids into a mini-van. In all seriousnous this is real world application. People do these tasks every day and if you thought of it, then chances are some thugs have thought about it too. If you formulate some effective self defense for these types of scenarios it would benefit a lot of folks.
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Ė Charles A. Beard

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by Celtic_Crippler View Post
    True, and a thrusting rear hell kick is reeeaaaalllly powerful.

    Maybe you could practice with some bags of flower to simulate how you hold your kids? Try some things out to see how they work in a dojo setting where you can evaluate the effectiveness of what you do.

    Then, once you have it all figured out you can write a paper or book on that aspect of how to apply Kenpo when loading your kids into a mini-van. In all seriousnous this is real world application. People do these tasks every day and if you thought of it, then chances are some thugs have thought about it too. If you formulate some effective self defense for these types of scenarios it would benefit a lot of folks.
    I like the flower bag idea. When I was posting my last message I though about a medicine ball, but a flower bag will give great feedback if you drop it - CLEANUP in aisle 3....

    Watch for my upcoming book...

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by execkenpo View Post
    I like the flower bag idea. When I was posting my last message I though about a medicine ball, but a flower bag will give great feedback if you drop it - CLEANUP in aisle 3....

    Watch for my upcoming book...
    I want a signed copy!
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Ė Charles A. Beard

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Interesting thread. I'm probably the only non-black belt in this forum so here's my 2 cents from a beginner's point of view. The place that I worry about the most is the infamous mall parking garage. It's dark, covered, with plenty of places to hide (pillars,cars, and such). I've thought of this scenario quite often since I have a wiggling 2 year old. For me I first try to be aware of my surroundings. That said, I usually approach my car with said 2 year old on the left arm and keys in my right hand. If I'm in the act of strapping the little guy in and someone approaches me, I'd probably shut the door real quick and turn and face the problem, at least he's safely inside the car. If I haven't actually gotten him inside the car yet, I'd probably throw the meanest kick to the groin that I could muster, grab my son and run like hell. Doesn't sound very impressive, but in this situation I think it's live to fight another day!

    In truth, I rarely find myself at the mall (by myself!) with my son. It's usually my wife who goes alone, so I try to tag along as much as possible, as painful as that might be!

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by seca2man View Post
    Interesting thread. I'm probably the only non-black belt in this forum so here's my 2 cents from a beginner's point of view.

    Pssst!!! Where do you rank
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by Rob Broad View Post
    Okay, okay...so I'm not the only lower rank, but the ratio of black to non-black sure seems skewed towards those who carry red bars on their belt! This is a great forum and is a wealth of kenpo knowledge.

    Full Salute

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Less than half themembers on the site are black belt and above. It seems like more, but some of us just post a lot.
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Talk about feeling vulnerable, when I take my youngest daughter to a store just her and I, then she says daddy I have to use the restroom? Being that she is 6 now sheís too old to use the menís room and I donít think the ladies would like it if I took her in. So I just stand right next to the door and count in my head. If she is in there more than about 5 minutes Iím sticking my head in to check on her.

    Also talking about going to the mall especially this time of year it gets so crowded I make sure to hold my youngest daughters hand and I have my oldest walk in front of me. Just so many people it would be easy to get separated in the crowd.

    But talking about parking garages, I am lucky in that I work for the company that owns the building. I have a parking space thatís only 6 spaced from the door to the sky bridge.

    (Not a black belt yet either)
    A black belt covers 2" of your butt. Covering the rest is soley up to you

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    No young children here, but I do think about every time my wife goes to the opposite side of the truck in a dark lot. I keep my eyes open and hands free as much as possible. If there are things to load I load them on her side and close and lock (yes I know it seems paranoid) the door and she unlocks it as I get around to my side. Not a black belt either .

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by hemi View Post
    Talk about feeling vulnerable, when I take my youngest daughter to a store just her and I, then she says daddy I have to use the restroom? Being that she is 6 now sheís too old to use the menís room and I donít think the ladies would like it if I took her in. So I just stand right next to the door and count in my head. If she is in there more than about 5 minutes Iím sticking my head in to check on her....
    I have this problem myself. I have a child who is 11 (not mine by birth, but I claim him and have him with me most of the time), but he is autistic. We go to the Wal Mart and he has to go to the bathroom! What is a girl suppose to do? I have been doing it by standing at the door as well, but it is so scarry to me. I watch men going in and out and wonder if he is okay. He will do anything to make someone laugh. He totally can't understand. He has no shame because of the autisum. I am so afraid of someone taking advantage of him. These places who house much public have got to get family restrooms!!!

    I drive a mini van too that I don't like. Looking forward to that book. Also, not a black belt.
    There is nothing so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.
    Unquestionably man has his will - but woman has her way! - Bruce Lee

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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    AA, and others, check your laws in your respective states. Some states allow you to accompany a handicaped or disabled person into a public rest room, even if you are the opposite sex. Alternatively, most women don't mind (or don't seem to, any way) if you take a child or handicaped person into the womens rest room.

    As for feeling vulnerable, you'll have to asses the advantages vs risks in going to a particular place at a given time. If it's worth the risk, then take some precautions. Your situational awareness and hazzard mitigation should start before you leave home. Knowing the law, as suggested above, is one thing you can do. Route planning, including parking if possible, is another thing you can do before starting out. Being observant and walking away if something seems wrong works only if you had the sense to park in well lit, public locations with escape routes. How about carrying your child in a manner that is easy for you to empty your hands without harming it. Get a stroller that can carry your backpack as well, so you aren't encumbered with it if you have to move quickly. Get in the van (or sub compact car) and lock it, then strap the baby in. Go with someone else when possible (adults- not more kids to look after on your own). Learn and practice awareness, before you really need it. There's a lot you can do. Most of us just don't because we really don't want to step out of our little comfortable world untill we are forced to by circumstances. Then, we really feel vulnerable- probably because we are!

    Dan C
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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by thedan View Post
    AA, and others, check your laws in your respective states. Some states allow you to accompany a handicaped or disabled person into a public rest room, even if you are the opposite sex. Alternatively, most women don't mind (or don't seem to, any way) if you take a child or handicaped person into the womens rest room.

    Dan C

    My sentiments exactly. Trust your gut and play it safe. Piece of mind is a terrible thing to waste.
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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    So....I was thinking.....yeah, I know I was told to stop but I just can't help myself.
    Anyway, I was thinking that if holding a small child, like under 2 years old, you could effectively utilize your elbows even though your hands are tied up. It would probably freak the kid out, but they would be o.k.. For that matter, it would probably freak an attacker out as well! They'd probably think you were trying to throw the child at them! LOL.
    Thoughts?
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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by Celtic_Crippler View Post
    So....I was thinking.....yeah, I know I was told to stop but I just can't help myself.
    Anyway, I was thinking that if holding a small child, like under 2 years old, you could effectively utilize your elbows even though your hands are tied up. It would probably freak the kid out, but they would be o.k.. For that matter, it would probably freak an attacker out as well! They'd probably think you were trying to throw the child at them! LOL.
    Thoughts?
    CC! They told you to stop thinking for a reason!

    You'd probably break the kids neck, jerking it around like that! Better to just use it as a shield, any way- probably be more effective than elbow strikes while holding it, and would be easier on the baby!

    (who let him out?)

    Dan C
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    Default Re: Feeling Vulnerable

    Quote Originally Posted by thedan View Post
    CC! They told you to stop thinking for a reason!

    You'd probably break the kids neck, jerking it around like that! Better to just use it as a shield, any way- probably be more effective than elbow strikes while holding it, and would be easier on the baby!

    (who let him out?)

    Dan C
    LOL. Actually I was thining along the lines of "let me put my kid in the car and I'll hand you my wallet" kind of motion. As you turn to put them in the mini-van perhaps execute a round elbow to their jaw while anchoring the kid to your side with the other hand. I heard SGM Parker broke a guys jaw in this manner from a mear 4 inches. That would perhaps buy some time to release the child into the vehicle and give you time to turn back to the attacker and deal with them some more....if necessary.
    Do you think that could work?
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Ė Charles A. Beard

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