Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 22

Thread: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

  1. #1
    kenpo0324's Avatar
    kenpo0324 is offline
    KenpoTalk
    2nd. Brown Belt
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    799
    Thanks
    51
    Thanked 71 Times in 67 Posts

    Lightbulb What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    What would you do if you were an Instructor with a Student that has
    Terrific martial arts skills, But lacks in social skills?
    Your student works hard, knows a lot about the art, But has a poor attitude
    towards other students.(ie: puts down other students and makes lite of there
    achievments and thinks he's always right)
    Yours Truly
    Kenpo0324

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Sarnia, ON, Canada
    Posts
    7,774
    Thanks
    301
    Thanked 1,259 Times in 798 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    I would talk to them about on the site the first time it happened and let them know that the behavior is not acceptable. The next time it happened I would give them a warning in private saying that if it happens they will get a month suspension. If it hapens again I would give them a month off, and extend their membership if neccessary, if theproble persists after that I would ask them to leave the school permanently.
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

  3. #3
    pete is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Green Belt
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    517
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 241 Times in 144 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    or they can just be promoted to the first level of their own inadequacy...

  4. #4
    KenpoTess's Avatar
    KenpoTess is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Adv. Green Belt
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Wild Wonderful West & Wicked
    Posts
    636
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Masochist:

    We've had a few of those~!!
    One guy is a total Ass.. he has talent for sure.. but as a human being.. he lacks it all~! #1 he likes pain.. his masochistic attitude turns every partner off that he is working with.. Sure it's good to take a hit.. but when someone gets a twisted gleam in their eyes and an expression of pleasure on their face and begs you to 'Do it again harder'.............. well uhh No.. Not going to feed your fetish dude.. So people do Not like to work with him~!
    He's the 'know-it-all' type and will argue with a rock... I know he's got alot of issues in his personal life..and would like it a whole lot better if he just 'left em at the door' but I know that's not possible for all to do. Sooo.. we bring him back down to earth on a regular basis.. either by ignoring him.. that includes everyone in the school.. or by verbal confrontation.. He's just the kinda guy that you want to knock out.. but know that would do no good..
    He's transferring out to Wash State in May, so we're making sure he's heading to a great instructor who'll have full knowledge of what his getting into~!!

    Sadist:

    Another student was very scary.. he was a big hulking strong guy and besides the fact he NEVER washed his gi, and came to class with salt stains on his back.. *ugh* and smelled~! No social skills there for sure~!
    He would hurt people and he liked it.. He was talked to.. he would get better for a class or two.. and when one day he was grappling another guy.
    (This was After a Round Robin free-for-all.. and he kicked another guy on purpose and went after him 'street brawl style' .....)
    he got the other in a choke and even though the younger guy was double tapping.. he tightened the choke and was 'losing it'.. He got physically thrown out of the studio and told he was never welcome back.

    You can Talk to the student.. but depending on their 'problem'.. Some people just don't belong in MA's.. Sure they're gifted athletically.. but if they can't wrap their emotions up.. or accept 'One becomes humble when they come to the realization that what they know is very little'...
    Sometimes you have to just let them go.

    Makes you want to 'knock ' some sense into them...

    Just my thoughts

    ~Tess

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Wichita, Kansas, United States
    Posts
    2,467
    Thanks
    2,019
    Thanked 1,277 Times in 709 Posts

    Exclamation Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Take them aside or after/apart from class. Talk to them about the fact that you recognize their efforts to perfect their own execution of the art, but let them know it's a whole picture...including of course character development. Let them know that you think they could be a role model for newer students, but that you wouldn't want new students...or any students...modeling THAT behavior. Be specific as to what that behavior is, have examples at the ready. Be ready for them to respond to you negatively, an 'ego-backlash' would be common from an undisciplined person right about now...when confronted. But stick with them. Let them know that you believe in them, that they can change and do better. BUT: Let them know in no uncertain terms that you expect this behavior to stop, and let them know that their actions will have concequences.

    Then, follow up. If they keep slipping up, enact the concequences that you had put in place. It must be like clockwork...and automatic and consistant thing. BUT: if they change, then they are showing some introspection and self control... in other words, they are maturing. Maybe this should bring the consequence of consideration for promotion as maturity and personal growth are fine indicators of commitment and adaptation to instruction.

    Good and important subject!!

    Your Brother
    John

  6. #6
    TheGoldenOne's Avatar
    TheGoldenOne is offline
    KenpoTalk
    1st. Brown Belt

    AKI Contributing Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Scottsdale Arizona
    Posts
    800
    Thanks
    84
    Thanked 499 Times in 231 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Quote Originally Posted by Brother John
    * Take them aside or after/apart from class.
    * Talk to them about their efforts to perfect their art
    * Let them know it's also about character development
    * Let them know that they will be a role model for newer students, and you can't tolerate inapposite behavior!
    * Be specific as to what inapposite behavior is, give examples.
    * Be ready for them to respond to you negatively, an 'ego-backlash' would be common from an undisciplined person right about now...when confronted.
    * Let them know that you believe in them, that they are capable of correct behavior.
    * Let them know in no uncertain terms that you expect exemplary behavior from them at all times.
    * Let them know that inapposite actions will have consequences.
    * Follow up & keep a sharp eye on them.
    * Enact the consequences that you had put in place if necessary.
    Your Brother
    John
    I agree with what Bro John said (with slight rewording)

    And now the tough part..... figure out as their instructor just HOW to teach this aspect of Kenpo to THIS student.


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    London, ON
    Posts
    1,601
    Thanks
    64
    Thanked 209 Times in 134 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Talk to him politely about it and give him a warning. If he doesn't change, remove him from your studio.

    People like that can drag everyone down and make your club look bad.

    Jamie Seabrook
    www.seabrook.gotkenpo.com

  8. #8
    ackks10 is offline
    KenpoTalk
    1st. Brown Belt
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Laurel springs New jersey
    Posts
    859
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked 165 Times in 134 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    i had a student who did the same thing to me, what a butt head, it seems all the talk in the world did nothing he left and now has a school and he keeps bad mouthing me all the time and the other students.
    This man is in his middle 50's and like i said on my message board he is a want a be, it gets better this man never met Mr Parker , never talked with him and never knew him at all, but check out his web site and look what he did with the picture of Mr Parker and himself.
    Now also this man saids that he teachers American kenpo only and he has gived rank out to his students, but (are you ready) this man has NO RANK in American kenpo at all. check out his site www.njkenpo.com

  9. #9
    Seig is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Adv. Blue Belt
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Martinsburg, WV
    Posts
    453
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    I see he has no personal information on the site
    Just because you do something one way, does not mean that everyone else does it that way, or that it is even the correct way.

  10. #10
    asangria's Avatar
    asangria is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Yellow Belt
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Cerritos
    Posts
    60
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Quote Originally Posted by lonekimono10
    i had a student who did the same thing to me, what a butt head, it seems all the talk in the world did nothing he left and now has a school and he keeps bad mouthing me all the time and the other students.
    This man is in his middle 50's and like i said on my message board he is a want a be, it gets better this man never met Mr Parker , never talked with him and never knew him at all, but check out his web site and look what he did with the picture of Mr Parker and himself.
    Now also this man saids that he teachers American kenpo only and he has gived rank out to his students, but (are you ready) this man has NO RANK in American kenpo at all. check out his site www.njkenpo.com
    I looked at his site and those video clips too. If you really want to make an issue of it you can always contact Master Tatum and see if he authorized this guy to teach American Kenpo as his site claims.

    Sooner or later the truth will come out as it always does.

  11. #11
    ackks10 is offline
    KenpoTalk
    1st. Brown Belt
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Laurel springs New jersey
    Posts
    859
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked 165 Times in 134 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    I did that a while ago, i talked with him and let him know what was going on
    (Mr Tatum and i go back to the 70's) and he said that he would do something about it,but as you can see.
    I was talking with Mrs Parker yesterday and she gave me some imfor as to how to handel this,but what i want to do with this butt head is let all of the kenpo world (the people in here) know what this guy is doing,this is the only way i can get to this man after what he has done to me and others.

  12. #12
    Seig is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Adv. Blue Belt
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Martinsburg, WV
    Posts
    453
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    After watching the videos, I have to agree with you, the man is not teaching well, but that in and of itself is not proof. If you have difinitive proof that this man is in fact defrauding the public by charging them for Kenpo lessons and is not a qualified instructor, there are several steps you can take.

    The real issue is this, how far are you willing to go? This is a battle that can lead you into the courts. If someone were to go to my website, they can immediately find a link to my parent organization to check my credentials. I encourage anyone that doubts my ability, my rank, or my knowledge to check with my instructor. Anyone that does not do that or something very similiar to that, in my opinion, is suspect.

    You can call the better business bureau for the municipality where he is conducting business and report him for defrauding the public, you can also let the local news media know. If you take either of these tacts, you had better have documentation to prove your claims as you are attacking someone's reputation and entering the realm of libel if you are wrong.
    Just because you do something one way, does not mean that everyone else does it that way, or that it is even the correct way.

  13. #13
    ackks10 is offline
    KenpoTalk
    1st. Brown Belt
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Laurel springs New jersey
    Posts
    859
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked 165 Times in 134 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Seig let me ask you this, i see that you are a 4th in American kenpo and that tells me you have been around for a little bit, HOW can someone give RANK in a style(i'm talking about kenpo) when he/she don't have a BLACKBELT IN THAT STYLE .
    i also see that you went to his site, now tell me seig where does it say that he has a blackbelr in kenpo??? IT DON'T it only tells you about some other places that he was at , and the only way he got into the WCAF was because of me, all the other stuff, who knows? but i do know that it is not kenpo, even Mr Tatum did not give him a blackbelt because if he did it would be up there with all the rest.
    " Resolve to be tender with the young,compassionate with the aged,sympathetic with the striving,tolerant with the weak and wrong..... Because sometime in your life you will have been all of these"

  14. #14
    Seig is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Adv. Blue Belt
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Martinsburg, WV
    Posts
    453
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Quote Originally Posted by lonekimono10
    Seig let me ask you this, i see that you are a 4th in American kenpo and that tells me you have been around for a little bit, HOW can someone give RANK in a style(i'm talking about kenpo) when he/she don't have a BLACKBELT IN THAT STYLE .
    i also see that you went to his site, now tell me seig where does it say that he has a blackbelr in kenpo??? IT DON'T it only tells you about some other places that he was at , and the only way he got into the WCAF was because of me, all the other stuff, who knows? but i do know that it is not kenpo, even Mr Tatum did not give him a blackbelt because if he did it would be up there with all the rest.
    Obviously, an honest person cannot award rank in a system they are not ranked in. I found no personal information on his site at all. Like I said in my earlier post, if you feel that you have an obligation to bring someone like this down, you have to have to appropriate documentation or you could face ruining your own reputation in the process. In this situation it could be fairly straight forward. It appears that he has Mr. Tatum's patch on his uniform and it appears that he alleges to be teaching Mr. Tatum's system. If you had an affidavit from Mr. Tatum stating that this was not the case, call to the BBB and the local newspaper could be very damaging to the studio indeed. What you have to avoid at all costs is a case of he said/she said.
    Just because you do something one way, does not mean that everyone else does it that way, or that it is even the correct way.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Cobourg ON
    Posts
    1,021
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Has anyone ever had to get physical with a problem student?
    example: a student thinks he really has this stuff down and can take anyone out, gets a lil cocky and wants to perhaps test his stuff with you.
    or
    some new guy off the street figures himself somewhat of a tough guy.....sticks around long enough until he thinks he has a bead on you, and then acts like a jerk because he thinks he can.

    i find that people like this often mistake acts of kindness for weakness.

  16. #16
    Bob Hubbard's Avatar
    Bob Hubbard is offline Retired


    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Buffalo, New York, United States
    Posts
    5,610
    Thanks
    1,012
    Thanked 2,158 Times in 1,155 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Mistaking kindness for weakness happens more often than people think.
    For ANY and ALL KenpoTalk issues, please use theContact Us link here or at page bottom right. Do NOT PM me for site support.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Sarnia, ON, Canada
    Posts
    7,774
    Thanks
    301
    Thanked 1,259 Times in 798 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    What to do with a Bad Attitude.... Send them to the garden.
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Cobourg ON
    Posts
    1,021
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Hubbard
    Mistaking kindness for weakness happens more often than people think.
    this is true.
    so how would you go about showing them kindness while also showing them their mistake?
    its a real conundrum.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    London, ON
    Posts
    1,601
    Thanks
    64
    Thanked 209 Times in 134 Posts

    Talking Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackcatbonz
    Has anyone ever had to get physical with a problem student?
    About 10 years ago, I had a someone come in who was interested in taking martial arts and he began by telling me how tough he was and how many street fights he had won. He was in his early 20s.

    Since he was beyond arrogant, I told him that now he could have the opportunity to learn proper skills, both physically and mentally. He responded by telling me that most black belts are a joke and that there were very few he couldn't beat in a fight.

    So I asked him if he wanted to test his reaction skills in a sparring fight with me. He was a little shocked that I asked him that, but he complied. In a nutshell, he learned quickly that he wasn't nearly as tough as he thought he was.

    He was humbled, and took kenpo from me for about a year or so.


    Jamie Seabrook
    www.seabrook.gotkenpo.com

  20. #20
    kroh's Avatar
    kroh is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Adv. Blue Belt
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Rhode Island, USA,
    Posts
    410
    Thanks
    99
    Thanked 115 Times in 79 Posts

    Default Re: What to do with a Bad Attitude....

    For a change of pace one Saturday I did a little stick fighting with some of the junior students I was teaching at the time. One of the students (13 at the time) was one of those kids that grew like a weed and towered over everyone. He was also one of those want to be goth kids who came in with the strange clothes ("I'm unique, just like all the other different people"). The sticks were padded and they were all wearing helmets. I took on a few of them and we were having a great time. Kid decided to get a little rough with me and try and double baseball bat me into next week.

    Since I was an FMA guy as well, i let him try to have his fifteen. All I did was defend. When he was whirling and pretending to be the next incaration of Musashi, i dropped the sticks and walked from the mat. I told him to drop the sticks and sit. After the class I spoke to his big tough behaviour and told him that if he wanted to act the bad stick fighter (as he has never been trained with them), he could hang for a bit till the FMA class came up (after his class ended) and he could try and knock around with those guys for real. Of course he didn't take me up on it.

    If you have a student with a bad attitude and you feel that it is possible to turn things round for them ( face it, we are not Yoda , but we can have an influence), then make sure you temper your response. Lot of good advice above me and the overall tone is to take the measure of the "man" and give your response in steps. Then if there is no hope of redemption do what Tess did and throw them out on their fourth point of contact (buttocks).

    Regards, Walt

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Remove Ads

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)