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Thread: Ponderables

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    Default Ponderables

    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
    Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
    Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
    Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
    Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
    If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
    Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
    How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
    If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
    If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
    If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
    If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
    You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
    Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
    Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
    Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
    Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
    You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
    Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
    If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
    Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
    If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
    Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
    Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
    Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
    If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
    Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
    Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
    Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
    Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
    Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
    If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
    Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
    How can someone "draw a blank"?
    Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
    Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
    Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
    What is another word for "thesaurus"?
    When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
    If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
    Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
    Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
    Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
    Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
    Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
    Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?
    Does a fish get cramps after eating?
    Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
    Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
    What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
    Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
    How do you KNOW it's new and improved dog food?
    Why do they put locks on the doors of 24-hour stores?
    Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow?
    Why do they call then express lanes when during rush hour everything is stopped?
    If sour milk is used to make yogurt, how do you know when yogurt has gone bad?
    Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
    How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
    Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
    Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
    If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?
    What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
    When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
    Does fuzzy logic tickle?
    Do blind eskimoes heave seeing-eye sled dogs?
    Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
    Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
    How come wrong numbers are never busy?
    Do radioactve cats have 18 half-lives?
    If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
    Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?
    What was the best thing before sliced bread?
    Why call then hot water heaters if the water is already hot?
    If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
    If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
    If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
    How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
    If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
    What would we have called the color orange if it wasn't a fruit?
    After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
    How can there be self-help "groups"?
    If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
    If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
    If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
    Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
    Is there another word for synonym?
    Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
    Just "before" someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
    It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
    We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
    The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
    It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
    Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor.
    You can't have everything, where would you put it?
    Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
    If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
    When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
    When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
    When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder Why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
    Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
    Why Isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    Why do they report power outages on TV?
    Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
    Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
    Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?
    If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound?
    What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
    Is it possible to be totally partial?
    If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
    Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
    Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
    If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off? ?
    If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
    If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
    When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
    If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
    How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
    Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers?
    Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
    Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk ?
    The light went out, but where to ?
    Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
    Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?
    How come when I call Information they can't tell me where my keys are?
    Why do people go to Burger King and Order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and insist on getting a Diet Coke?
    Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
    Why is the alphabet in that order?
    If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
    If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
    What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.
    If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
    Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
    If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
    Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
    If progress is technology moving forward,then what is congress?
    Why do we go under over-passes and over under-passes?
    If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
    If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?
    Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?
    Ever wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?
    If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?
    If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
    If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
    If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
    If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
    If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
    If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
    Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
    I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
    If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
    Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
    Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
    If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
    Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
    When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
    Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
    When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
    Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
    Why are wise man and a wise guy opposites?
    Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
    If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
    "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
    If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and drycleaners depressed?
    Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
    Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
    If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
    If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
    Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
    Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
    Susan A. Spann

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    Member of the Estrogen Mafia and Proud Owner of THIS Thread (FOREVER D:< )



  2. #2
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    Default Re: Ponderables

    Good ones!

    I'd like to add: "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

    The truly educated never graduate.
    "To understand the heart & mind of a person, look not at what they have already achieved, but what they aspire to do." -Kahlil Gibran

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    Default Re: Ponderables

    Quote Originally Posted by Gin-Gin2
    Good ones!

    I'd like to add: "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

    Its an answer not appropriate for this forum...

    ...Bob's OTHER forum, OTOH, I can give an answer there
    Susan A. Spann

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  4. #4
    Gin-Gin2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ponderables

    Quote Originally Posted by Miyu
    Its an answer not appropriate for this forum...

    ...Bob's OTHER forum, OTOH, I can give an answer there
    The truly educated never graduate.
    "To understand the heart & mind of a person, look not at what they have already achieved, but what they aspire to do." -Kahlil Gibran

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Ponderables

    Quote Originally Posted by Gin-Gin2
    Your imagination can fill in the rest
    Susan A. Spann

    Something Here Coming Soon

    Member of the Estrogen Mafia and Proud Owner of THIS Thread (FOREVER D:< )



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