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Thread: Why Are Men?

  1. #1
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    Default Why Are Men?

    1. Why are men such jerks?

    It's a testosterone thing. Very similar to your PMS thing, we men
    suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span
    of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the
    complaining and nagging we have to endure)? Hormones modify behavior. We're just

    2. Why do men always have to stare at other women?

    Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all
    the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you?
    Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting
    caught. We're fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women
    take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack
    this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we

    3. Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?

    We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy.
    It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.

    4. Why do men always say such stupid things?

    We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner
    frustrated by a few simple (and well-chosen) words.

    5. Why are men so uncommunicative except with criticism?

    You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it
    you get into trouble with your partner.

    6. Why do men have to act like such retards?

    Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's
    the old-fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of
    the world nowadays.

    7. Why can't men just share their feelings?

    Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that
    men are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no
    idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like
    rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel.
    Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how Ifeel.

    8. Why can't men cuddle more (i.e., lie down and hug)?

    Please . . . how many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige
    you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying
    around for hours on end? We men. . . Men hunters . . . Need go roam. ..
    Starve in cave. . . Must go find wild beast. Now sitting on our asses for hours
    on end, on the other hand, is a whole other story.

    9. How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?

    Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles, developed by
    evolution, that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting
    tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for
    long periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters
    were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time, thereby
    passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled
    up by saber-toothed tigers, etc. The end result is that almost all modern
    men are born with this innate ability.

    10. Why can't men just say "I love you?"

    Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say
    that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most consider
    that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character

    11. Why do men say "I love you" when they hardly know me?

    Ho, Ho, Ho. . . Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure
    fire way to get a piece of tail. Surprisingly, it actually still works
    quiet well.

    12. Why doesn't my partner ever answer me?

    We just simply don't have the energy to answer every one of your silly
    questions. If we think that you will not like the answer, we
    simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.

    13. Why are men always such slobs?

    It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know damn well
    you'll pick up after us.

    14. What's with all the belching and farting?

    This usually only occurs after months of dating. It's our way of
    letting you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's
    actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding back for extended periods of
    time gives us stomach cramps.

    15. Why do men hate shopping?

    It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to
    go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours
    looking at things we have no intention of killing? Err . . . buying!
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Rob Broad For This Useful Post:

    Takai (06-15-2007)

  3. #2
    gakusei's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Are Men?

    More Shugyo!

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    Default Re: Why Are Men?

    Yours Truly

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    snake_in_dragons_path is offline
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    Thumbs up Re: Why Are Men?

    very funny
    very true
    espically like 11, 14 and 15

    my g'friend will kill me if she see's this tho

  6. #5
    Anoise is offline
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    Default Re: Why Are Men?

    Now I know your secrets!

  7. #6
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    Default Re: Why Are Men?

    "Change is not necessary...Survival is not mandatory" - W. Edward Deming

    "When I hit....I hit the whole enchilada" - Master David Leung

  8. #7
    Carol's Avatar
    Carol is offline Deo duce, ferro comitante
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    Default Re: Why Are Men?


  9. #8
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    Talking Re: Why Are Men?

    Quote Originally Posted by Anoise View Post
    Now I know your secrets!

    Dont tell anyone, its a secret.
    P.S., WE dont multi task well either. Its the whole x-y thing.

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