Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: I am a Southerner?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Forney TX
    Posts
    1,068
    Thanks
    132
    Thanked 83 Times in 55 Posts

    Default I am a Southerner?

    Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?



    Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What
    do you do?
    .................................................. .............
    THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN

    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1 ?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
    .................................................. ............
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!
    .................................................. ..............
    Southerner's Answer:
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click
    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
    Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"
    Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"

    A black belt covers 2" of your butt. Covering the rest is soley up to you

  2. #2
    Richard Finn's Avatar
    Richard Finn is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Adv. Blue Belt
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Pittsburgh
    Posts
    401
    Thanks
    234
    Thanked 149 Times in 103 Posts

    Default Re: I am a Southerner?

    I guess that makes me a Southerner!
    Hands on Healer

    "If you can not be King be a healer."

    "The hands of the King are the hands of a healer"

  3. #3
    Takai's Avatar
    Takai is offline
    KenpoTalk
    1st. Brown Belt
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Roseburg, OR
    Posts
    855
    Thanks
    61
    Thanked 160 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: I am a Southerner?

    Definitely Southerner. But, I prefer Federal Hydroshocks and my Glock .40 hold more than nine cartridges per magazine.
    "Change is not necessary...Survival is not mandatory" - W. Edward Deming

    "When I hit....I hit the whole enchilada" - Master David Leung

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Orlando, Florida
    Posts
    6,026
    Thanks
    1,199
    Thanked 1,520 Times in 909 Posts

    Default Re: I am a Southerner?

    Yeeeeee-Hawwwww! Like fish in a barrel!
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Sarnia, ON, Canada
    Posts
    7,774
    Thanks
    301
    Thanked 1,263 Times in 801 Posts

    Default Re: I am a Southerner?

    I may live north of the border, but I live with a Southern Attitude
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    1,818
    Thanks
    984
    Thanked 337 Times in 234 Posts

    Default Re: I am a Southerner?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rob Broad View Post
    I may live north of the border, but I live with a Southern Attitude
    That works.

    Southern by birth, Texan by the grace of god. And I only need two shots- one to do the job, one to pay the insureance. "Nice shot placemnt, dad." "Thanks for the backup, son." "Hon, think we should throw it on the mulch pile?" "Mom, it's already drawing too many flies!"

    Dan C

    Edit: took out the part about hunting Democrats.
    There are things that are worth knowing for their own sake, worth finding for the pure joy of discovery.

  7. #7
    Black St1300 is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Purple Belt
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    York, PA
    Posts
    243
    Thanks
    244
    Thanked 52 Times in 45 Posts

    Default Re: I am a Southerner?

    Southerner but without the Glock...
    I prefer the sawed-off 12 gauge method myself...

  8. #8
    Carol's Avatar
    Carol is offline Deo duce, ferro comitante
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Nashua, NH
    Posts
    2,007
    Thanks
    1,141
    Thanked 976 Times in 569 Posts

    Default Re: I am a Southerner?

    I prefer a Glock 26.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    SpoVaWA
    Posts
    4,387
    Thanks
    1,765
    Thanked 1,793 Times in 1,309 Posts

    Default Re: I am a Southerner?

    Cocaine was made illeagle over just this issue, but the word wasn't "terrorist" back then.
    Sean

  10. #10
    Devildogmrk is offline
    KenpoTalk
    Orange Belt
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Kansas City, MO
    Posts
    117
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked 43 Times in 34 Posts

    Default Re: I am a Southerner?

    Quote Originally Posted by thedan View Post
    That works.

    Southern by birth, Texan by the grace of god. And I only need two shots- one to do the job, one to pay the insureance. "Nice shot placemnt, dad." "Thanks for the backup, son." "Hon, think we should throw it on the mulch pile?" "Mom, it's already drawing too many flies!"

    Dan C

    Edit: took out the part about hunting Democrats.
    I am a southerner but I only need ONE shot...because in the Marine Corps it is "One Shot One Kill"....well sometimes one shot two kills on a good day but that is a different story.

    DI: What do we do for a living?
    Platoon: KILL, KILL, KILL
    DI: And what makes the grass grow?
    Platoon: Blood, Blood, Blood
    Platoon: Gung Ho, Gung Ho, Gung Ho

    Sorry was having full metal jacket flashbacks.... :-)
    Devil Dog Mark
    Hawaiian Kempo & Okinawan Kubudo

Remove Ads

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Southernness
    By hemi in forum Humor
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-21-2006, 11:00 PM