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Thread: Men Strike Back !

  1. #1
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    Default Men Strike Back !

    Well this might get me killed by the EM but keep in mind this was sent to me by a woman and its just a joke ladies. This does not necessarily represent the views of the poster or the site. LOL


    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it

    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me."

    Why do men fart more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to
    build up the required pressure

    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.

    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
    a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake

    Women will never be equal to men until they can
    walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
    gut, and still think they are sexy.

    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


    OK if I am never seen again i.e. the EM got me it was nice knowing everyone
    A black belt covers 2" of your butt. Covering the rest is soley up to you

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  3. #2
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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    "Women will never be equal to men until they can
    walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
    gut, and still think they are sexy. "

    I guess women are equal to men.
    I have proof
    http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Entertainm...2883542&page=1

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Lol
    PARKER - HERMAN - SECK

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Damn Straight. Don't worry about the EM, no one said they were allowed out of the kitchen.
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Why don't women wear watches?
    There is a clock right there on the stove.

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Quote Originally Posted by NickName99 View Post
    "Women will never be equal to men until they can
    walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
    gut, and still think they are sexy. "
    ...uh...have you seen Britany Spears lately?
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Why are single women skinny and married women fat?

    Single women come home, and after seeing what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

    Married women come home, and after seeing what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Oh Boy!!! Amy, did you see this?

    I hate the kitchen, it's true. But then again, I am single, lol!
    There is nothing so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.
    Unquestionably man has his will - but woman has her way! - Bruce Lee

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Hilarious thread!

    Oh, and very nice comeback Carol! Touche!
    All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small. - Lao Tzu


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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Quote Originally Posted by Carol Kaur View Post
    Why are single women skinny and married women fat?

    Single women come home, and after seeing what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

    Married women come home, and after seeing what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge
    Hey! We're girl bashin' here. Start your own thread.

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Quote Originally Posted by jdinca View Post
    Hey! We're girl bashin' here. Start your own thread.
    I don't believe you have experianced the EM have you?
    There is nothing so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.
    Unquestionably man has his will - but woman has her way! - Bruce Lee

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Quote Originally Posted by Carol Kaur View Post
    Why are single women skinny and married women fat?

    Single women come home, and after seeing what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

    Married women come home, and after seeing what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge
    Oh man, that's a lot better than what I had...
    I was going to say that single women are skinny because they're trying to attract a man and married women are fat because once they catch one all they want to do is sit on the couch eating bon-bons and watching sit-coms. LOL
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Quote Originally Posted by Arizona Angel View Post
    I don't believe you have experianced the EM have you?
    Does it show?

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Quote Originally Posted by Celtic_Crippler View Post
    Oh man, that's a lot better than what I had...
    I was going to say that single women are skinny because they're trying to attract a man and married women are fat because once they catch one all they want to do is sit on the couch eating bon-bons and watching sit-coms. LOL

    Hey CC I think the EM just bought us matching tomb stones LMAO

    Oh and wile I am going to get killed anyway, whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?


    About 40 lbs
    A black belt covers 2" of your butt. Covering the rest is soley up to you

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    What's the easiest way for a woman to lose 180+ lbs.?

    Get rid of her boyfriend/husband
    Susan A. Spann

    Something Here Coming Soon

    Member of the Estrogen Mafia and Proud Owner of THIS Thread (FOREVER D:< )



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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Quote Originally Posted by hemi View Post
    Hey CC I think the EM just bought us matching tomb stones LMAO

    Oh and wile I am going to get killed anyway, whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?


    About 40 lbs
    LOL. Our epitaphs shall be "Here lie those who dared defy the EM!"

    The difference between a girlfriend and a wife?......about 50 pounds? ROFL
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    OK I'll bite. What is the EM?

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Quote Originally Posted by Carol Kaur View Post
    OK I'll bite. What is the EM?
    I thought you were a member? Estrogen Mafia.
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    Quote Originally Posted by Celtic_Crippler View Post
    I thought you were a member? Estrogen Mafia.

    She's undercover. She's luring you into a false sense of security and then she will pounce and strike. She was testing your gullibility.
    The New Kenpo Continuum Book is now accepting submissions for volume 2. Our fabulous, ever-changing website is Sacramento Kenpo Karate.
    I'm a member of the Universal Life Church and the ULC Seminary. I'm also a Sacramento Wedding Minister and Disc Jockey
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    Default Re: Men Strike Back !

    >
    >How to Make a Woman Happy
    >
    >It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
    >
    >1. a friend
    >2. a companion
    >3. a lover
    >4. a brother
    >5. a father
    >6. a master
    >7. a chef
    >8. an electrician
    >9. a carpenter
    >10. a plumber
    >11. a mechanic
    >12. a decorator
    >13. a stylist
    >14. a sexologist
    >15. a gynecologist
    >16. a psychologist
    >17. a pest exterminator
    >18. a psychiatrist
    >19. a healer
    >20. a good listener
    >21. an organizer
    >22. a good father
    >23. very clean
    >24. sympathetic
    >25. athletic
    >26. warm
    >27. attentive
    >28. gallant
    >29. intelligent
    >30. funny
    >31. creative
    >32. tender
    >33. strong
    >34. understanding
    >35. tolerant
    >36. prudent
    >37. ambitious
    >38. capable
    >39. courageous
    >40. determined
    >41. true
    >42. dependable
    >43. passionate
    >44. compassionate
    >
    >WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
    >
    >45. give her compliments regularly
    >46. love shopping
    >47. be honest
    >48. be very rich
    >49. not stress her out
    >50. not look at other girls
    >
    >AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
    >
    >51. give her lots of
    >
    >attention, but expect little yourself
    >52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    >53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
    >
    >IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
    >
    >54. Never to forget:
    >* birthdays
    >* anniversaries
    >* arrangements she makes
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
    >
    >1. Show up naked
    >2. Bring food and Beer
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >


    Cheers,


    Steven Brown
    UKF

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