Men Strike Back !

[hemi]

Well this might get me killed by the EM but keep in mind this was sent to me by a woman and it’s just a joke ladies. This does not necessarily represent the views of the poster or the site. LOL


How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me."

Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake

Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


OK if I am never seen again i.e. the EM got me it was nice knowing everyone

[NickName99]

"Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy. "

I guess women are equal to men.
I have proof
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Entertainm...2883542&page=1

[Martin Seck]

Lol

[Rob Broad]

Damn Straight. Don't worry about the EM, no one said they were allowed out of the kitchen.

[KenpoChanger]

Why don't women wear watches?
There is a clock right there on the stove.

[Celtic_Crippler]

"Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy. "

...uh...have you seen Britany Spears lately?

[Carol]

Why are single women skinny and married women fat?

Single women come home, and after seeing what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

Married women come home, and after seeing what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge

[Arizona Angel]

Oh Boy!!! Amy, did you see this?

I hate the kitchen, it's true. But then again, I am single, lol!

[tiktok86]

Hilarious thread!

Oh, and very nice comeback Carol! Touche!

[jdinca]

Why are single women skinny and married women fat?

Single women come home, and after seeing what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

Married women come home, and after seeing what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge

Hey! We're girl bashin' here. Start your own thread.

[Arizona Angel]

Hey! We're girl bashin' here. Start your own thread.

I don't believe you have experianced the EM have you?

[Celtic_Crippler]

Why are single women skinny and married women fat?

Single women come home, and after seeing what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

Married women come home, and after seeing what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge

Oh man, that's a lot better than what I had...
I was going to say that single women are skinny because they're trying to attract a man and married women are fat because once they catch one all they want to do is sit on the couch eating bon-bons and watching sit-coms. LOL

[jdinca]

I don't believe you have experianced the EM have you?

Does it show?

[hemi]

Oh man, that's a lot better than what I had...
I was going to say that single women are skinny because they're trying to attract a man and married women are fat because once they catch one all they want to do is sit on the couch eating bon-bons and watching sit-coms. LOL

Hey CC I think the EM just bought us matching tomb stones LMAO

Oh and wile I am going to get killed anyway, what’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?


About 40 lbs

[Miyu]

What's the easiest way for a woman to lose 180+ lbs.?

Get rid of her boyfriend/husband

[Celtic_Crippler]

Hey CC I think the EM just bought us matching tomb stones LMAO

Oh and wile I am going to get killed anyway, what’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?


About 40 lbs

LOL. Our epitaphs shall be "Here lie those who dared defy the EM!"

The difference between a girlfriend and a wife?......about 50 pounds? ROFL

[Carol]

OK I'll bite. What is the EM?

[Celtic_Crippler]

OK I'll bite. What is the EM?

I thought you were a member? Estrogen Mafia.

[amylong]

I thought you were a member? Estrogen Mafia.

She's undercover. She's luring you into a false sense of security and then she will pounce and strike. She was testing your gullibility.

[bujuts]

>
>How to Make a Woman Happy
>
>It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
>
>1. a friend
>2. a companion
>3. a lover
>4. a brother
>5. a father
>6. a master
>7. a chef
>8. an electrician
>9. a carpenter
>10. a plumber
>11. a mechanic
>12. a decorator
>13. a stylist
>14. a sexologist
>15. a gynecologist
>16. a psychologist
>17. a pest exterminator
>18. a psychiatrist
>19. a healer
>20. a good listener
>21. an organizer
>22. a good father
>23. very clean
>24. sympathetic
>25. athletic
>26. warm
>27. attentive
>28. gallant
>29. intelligent
>30. funny
>31. creative
>32. tender
>33. strong
>34. understanding
>35. tolerant
>36. prudent
>37. ambitious
>38. capable
>39. courageous
>40. determined
>41. true
>42. dependable
>43. passionate
>44. compassionate
>
>WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
>
>45. give her compliments regularly
>46. love shopping
>47. be honest
>48. be very rich
>49. not stress her out
>50. not look at other girls
>
>AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
>
>51. give her lots of
>
>attention, but expect little yourself
>52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
>53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
>
>IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
>
>54. Never to forget:
>* birthdays
>* anniversaries
>* arrangements she makes
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
>
>1. Show up naked
>2. Bring food and Beer
>
>
>
>
>
>


Cheers,


Steven Brown
UKF