19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of ...

[Martin Seck]

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise
Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If
They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It
"In-Box."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once
Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For
Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With
The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,
With a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The
Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't
Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And
Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't
Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling
Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!,
I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're
Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The
Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You
Go."

Got this via email this morning ... passing it on

[John Brewer]

Nice

[Rob Broad]

I liked them.

[Sentinel]

Good ones. Next time I'm at a drive-though, I'll loudly and clearly ask for a "diet water" to go, "in accordance with the prohecy".

[hemi]

:d Lmao

[Arizona Angel]

very funny

[thedan]

Good ideas! Thx.

Someone at work today blew a hydraulic line and didn't notice it untill he'd been all over the equipment yard. Heck of a mess, impossible to clean or cover. He was leaving a note to his Supervisor to let him know what had happened, but couldn't figure out what to say. I told him to write "I have good news, and bad news. The good news is, I fixed it.


"

Hope he still has a job on Monday.

Dan C

[Carol]

Oh man....I really needed a good laugh.