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Thread: Nominee for 2006 Stella Award

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Orlando, Florida
    Thanked 1,520 Times in 909 Posts

    Default Nominee for 2006 Stella Award

    by Randy Cassingham

    As we gear up for another season of holiday shopping, we grit our
    teeth, head to the mall ...and take our lives into our hands dealing with
    traffic, parking, crowds, harried salesclerks ...and killer squirrels.

    At least, that's what Marcy Meckler had to deal with at the Old
    Orchard Mall in Skokie, Ill., one Friday morning in December 2004. (A
    tough punk squirrel, that is.) She says she stepped out of the Tiffany &
    Co. jewelry store at the open-air mall and was making her way toward
    Nordstrom's when, she says, she "had a squirrel jump up and attach itself
    to her leg." Startling, to be sure, but "while frantically attempting to
    escape from the squirrel and detach it from her leg, [Meckler] fell and
    suffered severe injuries."

    The injuries were not described but Meckler's lawsuit, filed in Cook
    County Circuit Court with the help of attorney Glenn Guth, says they will
    cause her to "in the future endure pain and suffering in body and mind."
    The suit demands damages in excess of $50,000.

    So how in the world is that the mall's fault? Mall owner Westfield
    Corp., "by and through its agents, employees, servants and security
    personnel, was aware of the longtime presence of the said squirrel on the
    premises and allowed the squirrel to remain on the premises, despite the
    fact that the squirrel had previously attacked and harassed other
    customers, a fact known to Westfield," the suit says. Worse, the suit
    alleges mall employees "encouraged the squirrel to remain on the premises
    by feeding and caring for the squirrel, despite the dangerous conditions
    that arose from allowing said animal to remain on the premises." Even
    that may have been OK, except, the suit complains, the mall failed "to
    warn the plaintiff of the squirrel's presence."

    Yep, Westfield surely knew there were squirrels in the open air mall
    area. And I'll bet they even know for a fact that birds fly by overhead.
    Heck: even bees, which some people are deathly afraid of, probably visit
    the flowers planted around the stores. Some of those people have severe
    allergic reactions to bee stings, too, and could literally die from it.
    AND YET THEY DIDN'T WARN anyone of these things. Bah. All wildlife "could be" dangerous sometimes, but most of it is fine if we just leave it the hell alone and admire it, rather than harass it. Yet Meckler's suit
    demands that they must harass it.

    We share this planet with other living things. If we killed everything
    else to keep from inconveniencing petty, spoiled brats who spend their
    days buying bling, the planet would wither and die. So we deal with it if
    we want to go out in the world. Malls can't -- and shouldn't -- control
    scurrying wild animals any more than they can stop birds from crapping on
    windshields as shoppers' cars sit in the valet parking lot. But maybe we
    can do something about why-me crybabies who expect someone else to pay for overreacting to normal situations, even when they fall down and go boom. Significant monetary fines for filing frivolous actions comes to

    1) "Mall Sued over Squirrel Attack", Chicago Sun-Times
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

  2. #2
    Texas Kenpo is offline
    Adv. Orange Belt
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Thanked 23 Times in 15 Posts

    Default Re: Nominee for 2006 Stella Award

    It is said that dogs will help owners become more at peace with their personal issues and help create harmony in one's life. We all need to band together and get this lady a small dog for her therapy. It needs to be one of those that always jumps up on your leg and humps it.

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