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Thread: Southernness

  1. #1
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    Default Southernness

    Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hisse fit and a
    Conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
    _____

    Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
    peas,beans, etc., make up "a mess."
    _____

    Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
    "yonder."
    _____

    Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in:
    "Going to town, be back directly."
    _____

    Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
    The white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
    _____

    All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
    The term, but they know the concept well.
    _____

    Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
    for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
    _____

    Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
    and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
    _____

    Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
    redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
    _____

    No true Southerner would never assume that the car with the blinking
    Turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
    _____

    A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
    adverb.
    _____

    Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
    we're "in line," ... we talk to everybody!
    _____

    Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
    related, even if only by marriage.
    _____

    In the South, y'all is singular, . all y'all is plural.
    _____

    Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
    _____

    Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
    perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
    that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
    _____

    When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
    You are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
    _____

    Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
    Indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
    unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
    _____

    And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
    ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"
    ...
    and go your own way.
    _____

    To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
    Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
    morning. Bless your heart!
    _____
    And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
    This Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
    _____

    And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
    Long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
    ____
    A black belt covers 2" of your butt. Covering the rest is soley up to you

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Southernness

    YEEEE-HAAWWWWW! Ain't that da truth!

    You forgot that a "snack" consists of an RC cola and a moon pie! LOL.
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

  3. #3
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    Talking Re: Southernness

    Gosh, y'all, think I gonna hefta go get me big ol' bowl uh grits!

  4. #4
    Richard Finn's Avatar
    Richard Finn is offline
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    Default Re: Southernness

    Born southern, raised western, livin east - Y'all know I'm a mess
    Hands on Healer

    "If you can not be King be a healer."

    "The hands of the King are the hands of a healer"

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