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Thread: Southernness

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Forney TX
    Thanked 83 Times in 55 Posts

    Default Southernness

    Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hisse fit and a
    Conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

    Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
    peas,beans, etc., make up "a mess."

    Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of

    Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in:
    "Going to town, be back directly."

    Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
    The white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

    All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
    The term, but they know the concept well.

    Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
    for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

    Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
    and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

    Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
    redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

    No true Southerner would never assume that the car with the blinking
    Turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

    A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an

    Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
    we're "in line," ... we talk to everybody!

    Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
    related, even if only by marriage.

    In the South, y'all is singular, . all y'all is plural.

    Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

    Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
    perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
    that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

    When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
    You are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

    Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
    Indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
    unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

    And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
    ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"
    and go your own way.

    To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
    Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
    morning. Bless your heart!
    And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
    This Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

    And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
    Long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
    A black belt covers 2" of your butt. Covering the rest is soley up to you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Orlando, Florida
    Thanked 1,520 Times in 909 Posts

    Default Re: Southernness

    YEEEE-HAAWWWWW! Ain't that da truth!

    You forgot that a "snack" consists of an RC cola and a moon pie! LOL.
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Sarnia, Ontario, Canada
    Thanked 675 Times in 490 Posts

    Talking Re: Southernness

    Gosh, y'all, think I gonna hefta go get me big ol' bowl uh grits!

  4. #4
    Richard Finn's Avatar
    Richard Finn is offline
    Adv. Blue Belt
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Thanked 149 Times in 103 Posts

    Default Re: Southernness

    Born southern, raised western, livin east - Y'all know I'm a mess
    Hands on Healer

    "If you can not be King be a healer."

    "The hands of the King are the hands of a healer"

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