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Thread: Top 15 Cop-Comments

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Orlando, Florida
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    Default Top 15 Cop-Comments

    The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country.

    #15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

    #14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

    #11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

    #10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

    #9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

    #6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

    #4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

    #3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC."

    #2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

    And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Sarnia, ON, Canada
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    Default Re: Top 15 Cop-Comments

    I really like number 1.
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Forney TX
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    Default Re: Top 15 Cop-Comments

    I like #9
    A black belt covers 2" of your butt. Covering the rest is soley up to you

  4. #4
    ronin6's Avatar
    ronin6 is offline
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    Oxford, Massachusetts, United States
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    Default Re: Top 15 Cop-Comments

    I like 12.
    "Fear is the true opiate of combat."

  5. #5
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    Oct 2005
    Las Vegas
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    Default Re: Top 15 Cop-Comments

    Those were great! LOL!
    Michael Huffman
    1st Black, AKKI

  6. #6
    Takai's Avatar
    Takai is offline
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    Roseburg, OR
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    Default Re: Top 15 Cop-Comments

    Coming from a family of filled with Cops and Fireman I can say that none of those comments truly surprise me. Though I still laugh just as hard about them.
    "Change is not necessary...Survival is not mandatory" - W. Edward Deming

    "When I hit....I hit the whole enchilada" - Master David Leung

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