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Thread: Not Tonight?

  1. #1
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    Default Not Tonight?

    This was written by a guy. Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

    I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

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    Default Re: Not Tonight?

    Oh. My. God. That's freakin brilliant. I'm gonna try that. Why not?

    Dave
    Clear mind, clear movement. Mastery of the Arts is mastery over the Self. That in this moment, this motion, the thoughts, memories, impulses and passions that cloud the mind must yield to the clarity of purpose, and purity of motion.

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    Default Re: Not Tonight?

    I am really really lucky to have my wife... she is a bargin hunter and when we were getting married and looking for a ring she said.. why would I want an expensive ring... I'd rather use that money for a house or a really great vacation.. afterall we both have the same bank account....


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    Default Re: Not Tonight?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikael151
    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....
    I can't imagine why?
    "Change is not necessary...Survival is not mandatory" - W. Edward Deming

    "When I hit....I hit the whole enchilada" - Master David Leung

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    Default Re: Not Tonight?

    I had a girl friend like that. I called bi-sexual but a completely different sense of the word. She would get sexual anytime I would buy her stuff.
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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    Default Re: Not Tonight?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rob Broad
    I had a girl friend like that. I called bi-sexual but a completely different sense of the word. She would get sexual anytime I would buy her stuff.
    LOL!!

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    Default Re: Not Tonight?

    i have never shopped at an unnamed shopping place... :lol:
    "The sacraed rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for among old parchments or musty records. They are written, as with a sunbeam, in the whole volume of human nature, by the hand of the divinity itself, and can never be erased.""

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    The Farmer Refuted (1775)

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    Default Re: Not Tonight?

    Well, did the store sell gis?

    That's what I want to know.

    Othewise, why would I shop there?

    --Amy
    The New Kenpo Continuum Book is now accepting submissions for volume 2. Our fabulous, ever-changing website is Sacramento Kenpo Karate.
    I'm a member of the Universal Life Church and the ULC Seminary. I'm also a Sacramento Wedding Minister and Disc Jockey
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    Default Re: Not Tonight?

    ROFLMAO!!! Shopping? What's that? Hey I could get two private lessons for the cost of those shoes...

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