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Thread: something to brighten your day

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Forney TX
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    Default something to brighten your day

    Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
    "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."



    **************************

    In a Podiatrist's office:
    "Time wounds all heels."



    **************************



    On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
    "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"



    **************************

    On another Septic Tank Truck:
    "We're #1 in the #2 business"



    **************************

    At a Proctologist's door:
    "To expedite your visit please back in."



    **************************

    On a Plumber's truck:
    "We repair what your husband fixed."



    **************************

    On another Plumber's truck:
    "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..."



    *******************************



    On a Church's Billboard:
    "7 days without God makes one weak."



    **************************



    At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
    "Invite us to your next blowout."



    **************************



    On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
    "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"



    **************************

    At a Towing company:
    "We don't charge an arm and a leg.


    We want tows."



    **************************

    On an Electrician's truck:
    "Let us remove your shorts."



    **************************

    In a Non-smoking Area:
    "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take
    appropriate
    action."



    **************************

    On a Maternity Room door:
    "Push. Push. Push."



    **************************

    At an Optometrist's Office :
    "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
    place."



    **************************



    On a Taxidermist's window:
    "We really know our stuff."



    **************************

    On a Fence:
    "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"



    **************************

    At a Car Dealership:
    "The best way to get back on your feet...


    miss a car payment."



    **************************

    Outside a Muffler Shop:
    "No appointment necessary...


    We hear you coming."



    **************************

    In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
    "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"



    *************************

    At the Electric Company:
    "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
    However, if you don't, you will be."



    **************************

    In a Restaurant window:
    "Don't stand there and be hungry...


    Come on in and get fed up."



    **************************

    In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    "Drive carefully. We'll wait."



    **************************
    At a Propane Filling Station:
    "Thank heaven for little grills"



    *************************

    And don't forget this sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
    "Best place in town to take a leak !"
    A black belt covers 2" of your butt. Covering the rest is soley up to you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Elk Grove, CA
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    Default Re: something to brighten your day

    Cleverness abounds.

    Good to know that there are still some clever people in the world.

    --Amy
    The New Kenpo Continuum Book is now accepting submissions for volume 2. Our fabulous, ever-changing website is Sacramento Kenpo Karate.
    I'm a member of the Universal Life Church and the ULC Seminary. I'm also a Sacramento Wedding Minister and Disc Jockey
    New Cool (free) kenpo tool bar: http://KenpoKarate.OurToolbar.com/


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