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Thread: Scary but funny

  1. #1
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    Default Scary but funny

    ORDERING PIZZA IN the Year 2010

    Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
    number?



    Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

    Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
    Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
    6102049998-45-54610.

    Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
    Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@h... Which number are you calling from sir?

    Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?

    Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

    Customer: The HSS, what is that?

    Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This
    will
    add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

    Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
    Special pizzas.



    Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

    Customer: Whaddya mean?

    Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
    you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
    Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.

    Customer: What? What do you recommend, then?

    Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll
    like it.

    Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

    Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
    local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

    Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

    Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids.
    Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.

    Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

    Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
    Your credit card balance is over its limit.

    Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
    driver gets here.

    Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is
    overdrawn also.

    Customer: Never! mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
    How long will it take?



    Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
    minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're
    out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a
    little awkward.

    Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?

    Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
    car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
    yesterday.

    Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

    Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
    July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see
    here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh
    yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State
    Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to
    society?

    Customer: (speechless)

    Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

    Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.

    Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
    from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.
    Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.


    Something to really think about.
    A black belt covers 2" of your butt. Covering the rest is soley up to you

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Brave New World, here we come
    Susan A. Spann

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  3. #3
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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Ugh! Gourmet Soybean Pizza.

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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    ^^^

    I agree...I don't do soy ANYTHING! And on pizza?? SACRILIGE!!
    Susan A. Spann

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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Quote Originally Posted by Miyu
    ^^^

    I agree...I don't do soy ANYTHING! And on pizza?? SACRILIGE!!
    Absolutely! Hey where is Hoth?

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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Quote Originally Posted by Miyu
    ^^^

    I agree...I don't do soy ANYTHING! And on pizza?? SACRILIGE!!
    The really scary thing is that you probably wouldn't know it was soy!!! You can make anything out of that stuff!! LOL.

    Quote Originally Posted by crane557
    Absolutely! Hey where is Hoth?
    You're kidding....right?
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Quote Originally Posted by crane557
    Absolutely! Hey where is Hoth?
    Some people mistakenly call it "Buffalo," I don't know why - there are no buffalo here. But there's plenty of cold and snow.
    Susan A. Spann

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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Quote Originally Posted by Miyu
    Some people mistakenly call it "Buffalo," I don't know why - there are no buffalo here. But there's plenty of cold and snow.
    ...and AT-AT Walkers.....got to be careful of those or you'll get squished!
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Stupid question from California guy. Why do you call it Hoth?

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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Because like hoth, buffalo is the land of snow and ice. And cold.

    I am orignally from Cali...and I miss it...esp after the 7 ft of snow overnight a few years back
    Susan A. Spann

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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Quote Originally Posted by Celtic_Crippler
    ...and AT-AT Walkers.....got to be careful of those or you'll get squished!
    Id kill for one of those....
    Susan A. Spann

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  12. #12
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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Remember, Big brother is watching. So is your sister, cousins, uncles, grandparents, third cousins twice removed and the guy at the donut shop.
    "Change is not necessary...Survival is not mandatory" - W. Edward Deming

    "When I hit....I hit the whole enchilada" - Master David Leung

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Scary but funny

    Quote Originally Posted by Miyu
    Id kill for one of those....
    I could take you down if I had a snow speeder though.
    "It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence." Charles A. Beard

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