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Thread: A Few Questions About Canada

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    Default A Few Questions About Canada

    Subject: Vancouver Olympic Questions.....
    Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are questions people over the world have been asking posted on an international tourism website. (frightening, isn't it?)

    Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

    Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

    Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
    A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

    Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
    A: What did your last slave die of?

    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)
    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure,the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

    Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we ll send the rest of the directions.

    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

    Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
    A: No, WE don't stink.

    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

    Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

    Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
    A: Only at Thanksgiving.

    Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?
    Germany)
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

    Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget it's name It's a kind of big horse with horns.(USA)
    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

    Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
    A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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    Default Re: A Few Questions About Canada

    Since Dan was so curiuos about Canada I thought reviving this thread might be of some use.
    Quality outweighs quantity every time.

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    Default Re: A Few Questions About Canada

    Quote Originally Posted by Rob Broad View Post
    Since Dan was so curiuos about Canada I thought reviving this thread might be of some use.
    __________________


    Depends how much you've been drinking...every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

    Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather...They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

    I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. ...you will still have to pay her by the hour.
    Smart A- I mean eh?!

    Yup. Real friendly folk here.

    You'll be happy to know I found the girl. Her rates havn't kept up with inflation, and the exchange rate is less, so it's working out well. Later.

    Dan

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    Default Re: A Few Questions About Canada

    Quote Originally Posted by thedan View Post
    Smart A- I mean eh?!

    Yup. Real friendly folk here.

    You'll be happy to know I found the girl. Her rates havn't kept up with inflation, and the exchange rate is less, so it's working out well. Later.

    Dan
    "Change is not necessary...Survival is not mandatory" - W. Edward Deming

    "When I hit....I hit the whole enchilada" - Master David Leung

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