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Thread: You might be a martial artist if.....

  1. #1
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    Jul 2005
    Elk Grove, CA
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    Default You might be a martial artist if.....

    You Might Be A Martial Artist If.....

    • You trip, go into a roll and come up in a fighting stance. In church.
    • You answer your boss "Kiai".
    • You put your hands together in a martial arts bow position (one hand open the other closed) after grace at the dinner table.
    • You tie your bathrobe belt in a square knot. Then check to make sure the ends are exactly even.
    • You accept change from the cashier using a perfect knife hand with the thumb carefully tucked in.
    • Every time you handle a screwdriver or razor knife, etc., you just can't help changing grip from hammer to reverse to flip over to dagger grip etc. And your shop help is standing cautiously far, far away from you.
    • When you're outside doing landscaping/gardening you "practice" with all the neat weapons.
    • You look for a place to live based on the amount of practice space it provides.
    • "GAK! NO! The left side of the bathrobe goes on top...."
    • You use various strikes to turn lights off and on.
    • You open and close doors with spinning kicks.
    • You find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings.
    • You try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it.
    • You notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets.
    • You find yourself practicing stances while standing in lines.
    • You bow going into and out of the bathroom.
    • You don't use any tools while splitting firewood.
    • You are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
    I have another one I found that goes with it:

    Do you wake up Saturday mornings stiff and sore? Is another night like Friday night the only thing that will make you feel better? Do you workout alone? Do you find that once you've thrown a jab, you can't stop until you've followed it with a reverse punch? If so, you may be (gasp!!) HOOKED ON KENPO. How do you know? Here are a few clues.

    You know you're hooked when:
    1. the first word out of your parrot's mouth is KIAI!, and you taught your cat how to spar.
    2. you have more bruises than a roller derby queen, and you still go back for more.
    3. you shut the refrigerator door with a side thrust kick.
    4. you shop for clothes based on whether you can kick in them.
    5. the only clothes you'll wear are gis. (true for me)
    6. you actually crave a beach workout.
    7. the books on your night stand are by authors like Gichin Funakoshi, Ed Parker, Hirokazu Kanazawa and Musashi Miyamoto.
    8. the Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one boxing bag, two boxing gloves, three shin pads (includes an extra pad for the one you'll inevitably lose), four Tokaido gi's, five rolls of adhesive tape....twelve cases of Tiger Balm.
    9. you refuse to wear shoes.
    The New Kenpo Continuum Book is now accepting submissions for volume 2. Our fabulous, ever-changing website is Sacramento Kenpo Karate.
    I'm a member of the Universal Life Church and the ULC Seminary. I'm also a Sacramento Wedding Minister and Disc Jockey
    New Cool (free) kenpo tool bar:

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    dankenpo (01-10-2011)

  3. #2
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: You might be a martial artist if.....

    Nice List!! LOL!!

  4. #3
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    Feb 2005
    Baltimore, Maryland
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    Default Re: You might be a martial artist if.....

    ok that is me, pretty scarry I never knew anybody else ever did half of that stuff
    "To hear is to doubt. To see is to be deceived. But to feel is to believe." -- SGM Ed Parker

    "Sic vis pacem parabellum - If you want peace, prepare for war." -- "The Punisher"

    "Praying Mantis, very good. . . For catching bugs." --Jackie Chan

    "A horse stance is great for taking a dump" --Jet Li

  5. #4
    gimpat01's Avatar
    gimpat01 is offline
    2nd. Brown Belt
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    Dec 2005
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    Default Re: You might be a martial artist if.....

    Oh lord, this is like a check list for things I do. ROFL!
    "Second chances they don't never matter, people never change
    Once a whore you're nothing more i'm sorry that'll never change
    And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged
    I'm sorry honey, but i'm passing up, now look this way...*" --Paramore "Misery Business"

    (*this is where a punch would be landed)

  6. #5
    dankenpo's Avatar
    dankenpo is offline
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    Jan 2011
    Chicago Suburbs
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    Default Re: You might be a martial artist if.....

    "Seek not to follow in the footsteps of men of old; seek what they sought." ~Matsu Basho

    "The nation that will insist upon drawing a broad line of demarcation between the fighting man and the thinking man is liable to find its fighting done by fools and its thinking by cowards." ~William Francis Butler

    "He who is taught only by himself has a fool for a master." ~Ben Jonson

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