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Thread: Atlanta

  1. #1
    gimpat01's Avatar
    gimpat01 is offline
    2nd. Brown Belt
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    Default Atlanta

    This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, has
    ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans
    to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta,
    or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta.

    Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only
    way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and
    start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

    All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include
    the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that
    in Cobb County, where all directions begin with, "Go to
    the Big Chicken."

    Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is
    not to be confused with:
    Peachtree Circle
    Peachtree Place
    Peachtree Lane
    Peachtree Road
    Peachtree Parkway
    Peachtree Run
    Peachtree Terrace
    Peachtree Avenue
    Peachtree Commons
    Peachtree Battle
    Peachtree Corners
    New Peachtree
    Old Peachtree
    West Peachtree
    Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

    Atlantans only know their way to work and their way
    home. If you ask anyone for directions, they will always
    send you down Peachtree.

    Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink
    there, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's
    made by Coca-Cola.

    The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport
    are about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so
    wear sneakers and pack a lunch.

    The 8am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5pm
    rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM.

    Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2am Saturday.

    Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue,
    so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People
    will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.
    The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawntz duh LEE-awn."

    And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."

    The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to
    immediately forget all traffic rules.

    If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a

    Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

    I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta, which has a
    posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to
    maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over),
    is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

    Don't believe the directional markers on highways. I-285
    is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North
    or South.

    The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop."

    If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

    Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one
    of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle
    of the road.

    Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their
    feet in the air.

    There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.

    There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia,
    plus a couple no one has seen before.

    If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If you notice a vine
    trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20
    seconds to escape, before you are completely captured
    and covered with Kudzu, another ill-advised "import," like the
    carp, starling, English sparrow, and other "exotic wonders."

    It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. "Fixinto" is one word (I'm
    fixinto go to the store).

    Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start
    drinking it when you're 2 years old.

    "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

    If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends
    from Atlanta, Georgia or live there and those who just wish they were.
    "Second chances they don't never matter, people never change
    Once a whore you're nothing more i'm sorry that'll never change
    And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged
    I'm sorry honey, but i'm passing up, now look this way...*" --Paramore "Misery Business"

    (*this is where a punch would be landed)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Thanked 480 Times in 291 Posts

    Default Re: Atlanta

    I only lived in Atlanta for 1 year a long time ago and boy was the whole Peachtree thing confusing, LOL.

    Very funny post, most of it applies to North Carolina too

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