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Thread: LAPD Humor

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    Default LAPD Humor

    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

    The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

    The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

    The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
    Tradition is not about the preservation of the ashes, but about keeping the flame alive

    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear to be bright until you hear them speak

    "The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it".
    ~George Orwell
    Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way." Booker T. Washington


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    Default Re: LAPD Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by KirkS View Post
    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

    The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

    The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

    The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
    I can beat that.

    Hey, guess who just quit smoking the other day?


    Chris DARDEN.
    "Nothing is more dangerous than the conscientiously ignorant, or the sincerely stupid." - Martin Luther King Jr.

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    Default LAPD Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc View Post
    I can beat that.

    Hey, guess who just quit smoking the other day?


    Chris DARDEN.
    Wasn't Chris Darden one of the OJ prosecutors?
    Be careful what you say, some may take it the wrong way.

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    Default Re: LAPD Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc View Post
    I can beat that.

    Hey, guess who just quit smoking the other day?


    Chris DARDEN.
    Safe to drive a blue pickup in CA now?
    truck-shot-by-lapd-in-dorner.jpeg

    The news reporting the incident was spot on too.

    FOX: He has been killed,
    CBS: He has escaped,
    NBC: He has hostages,
    Onion: He's riding through the forest on a unicorn in leather chaps.
    Kenpo, moving in open piecewise Bézier curves since 2011

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    Been doing computers since 1982, on forums, chats and all for nearly 3 decades. Only ever blocked one person.

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    Default LAPD Humor

    You gotta love The Onion!
    Be careful what you say, some may take it the wrong way.

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    Default LAPD Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc View Post
    I can beat that.

    Hey, guess who just quit smoking the other day?


    Chris DARDEN.
    He was probably a little surprised to find out he'd committed suicide.
    Be careful what you say, some may take it the wrong way.

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    Default Re: LAPD Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by jdinca View Post
    Wasn't Chris Darden one of the OJ prosecutors?
    He can burn too!
    "Nothing is more dangerous than the conscientiously ignorant, or the sincerely stupid." - Martin Luther King Jr.

    "Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens." - Ed Parker Sr.

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    Default Re: LAPD Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by J-squared View Post
    Safe to drive a blue pickup in CA now?
    truck-shot-by-lapd-in-dorner.jpeg

    The news reporting the incident was spot on too.

    FOX: He has been killed,
    CBS: He has escaped,
    NBC: He has hostages,
    Onion: He's riding through the forest on a unicorn in leather chaps.
    The network news always tells the factual truth - as they see/want it.
    "Nothing is more dangerous than the conscientiously ignorant, or the sincerely stupid." - Martin Luther King Jr.

    "Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens." - Ed Parker Sr.

    "It's much easier to quote, than to know." - Ron Chapél


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    Default Re: LAPD Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by jdinca View Post
    He was probably a little surprised to find out he'd committed suicide.
    They all look alike. (Sociological and Anthropological fact), but it seems as usual Dorner has his supporters. You can sign the petition here: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/pet...opher/qLxd64zC Personally I think he took Ash Wednesday just a little too far.
    "Nothing is more dangerous than the conscientiously ignorant, or the sincerely stupid." - Martin Luther King Jr.

    "Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens." - Ed Parker Sr.

    "It's much easier to quote, than to know." - Ron Chapél


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    Default LAPD Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc View Post
    Personally I think he took Ash Wednesday just a little too far.
    ROFL!

    That anyone who bothers to look into this guys past would actually support him is mind boggling. But that means someone would have to actually look. What is mind boggling to me is that he was actually hired in the first place. I have my guess, but it's just that.
    Be careful what you say, some may take it the wrong way.

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    Default Re: LAPD Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by jdinca View Post
    ROFL!

    That anyone who bothers to look into this guys past would actually support him is mind boggling. But that means someone would have to actually look. What is mind boggling to me is that he was actually hired in the first place. I have my guess, but it's just that.
    Departments come under fire and are pressured to hire special groups of people, over just hiring the best candidates for the position. When they do, they usually have to "adjust" their hiring standards, which usually results in a disproportionate firing of the same groups 5 years down the line. The only exception is women, who tend to get pregnant as soon as they get on the job and go on maternity leave. They have their children and don't take the "demanding" assignments so they can be available for their kids. Then they want sue the department because they're not getting promoted and are looked over for men who put the time in. It is a spiral of political correctness that suggests the proportions on a department should mirrors the demographics of whom the department serves, that ignores everyone is neither qualified nor wants to be a cop or firefighter. Asians are a prime example, but then they don't complain because they don't care.
    "Nothing is more dangerous than the conscientiously ignorant, or the sincerely stupid." - Martin Luther King Jr.

    "Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens." - Ed Parker Sr.

    "It's much easier to quote, than to know." - Ron Chapél


    www.MSUACF.com

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