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Thread: If Star Wars were an Anime

  1. #1
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    Default If Star Wars were an Anime

    HOW STAR WARS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF IT WERE ANIME



    *Two words: missile swarms.



    *Luke would do a lot more screaming.



    *All the important stuff, like Ben's death, would be repeated three times.



    *Vader would be at least eight feet tall.



    *X-wings and Y-wings would transform, and then combine to form a more

    powerful craft.



    *The Death Star's superlaser would have an even flashier charge-up sequence.



    *The destruction of Alderaan would be preceded by idyllic ground-side

    sequences. Then everyone looks up, and BOOOOM. (cf Hiroshima)



    *When Luke lines up on the exhaust port, he hears Ben's voice. Everything

    freezes, tight closeup on one of Luke's eyes as the background goes black.

    "Luke. Trust your feelings."



    *Yoda would look much like Happosai.



    *Fans would draw pictures of a naked Luke and Leia embracing *after* their

    parentage was revealed. In fact, it might not be revealed until after they'd

    slept together (cue the angst).



    *Jabba the Inju would get a lot more, um, friendly with Slave Girl Leia.

    (FAN SERVICE!)



    *The Emperor would be even taller than Vader.



    *The Ewoks would be even cuter. (Eeeeeee...)



    *Lando and the Falcon would be destroyed, probably accompanied by a flashback

    with lots of cherry blossoms.



    *Han Solo, being the epitome of American Power, would be blond, carry around

    a HUGE gun, and scare small children.



    *Alternately, Han would wear an eyepatch and cape.



    *The Mon Calimari would have ships that heavily resembled units from the

    various Darius games. (Giant mechanical FISH!)



    *Luke would have black hair, and be a lot more negative.



    *Light sabers would be replaced by katanas or Chinese long-swords that would

    glow so you could see which was flashing against the black background. The

    swords would have to be metal, so that injuries could be emphasized with

    gushing blood.



    *Chewbacca would have horns, alhough he might otherwise resemble an upright

    Mugi.



    *The Emperor would have tall spiky hair and little bits of things would float

    upward in slow-mo when he zaps Luke.



    *Lightsaber scenes wouldn't be 9 (counted!) per 6-hour trilogy, but per

    half-hour episode.



    *The AT-AT would have claws. BIG ones.



    *Vader would still be Luke's father, but we would would have known about it

    waaaaay before Luke did.



    *Luke's uncle and aunt would really be alive!



    *The sandcrawler would have flown.



    *We'd see the Sarlac's full body.



    *Leia wouldn't have a band of surgical tape constraining her generously-sized

    breasts in all three movies except for the Metal Bikini scene.



    *For that matter, Leia wouldn't have been wearing a Metal Bikini, either.



    *The Rancor wouldn't have had a big bold black outline, but it would have

    drooled MUCH more.



    *The AT-ST would have been either armless and rounded or armed and

    squared-off, not armless and squared.



    *Imperial pilots would have been cloned from the very beginning.



    *Every time Vader tells some fool that he's underestimating the power of the

    Dark Side, the bystanders would mutter "Sugee!"



    *The music and soundtrack would be much worse and less orchestreated, but

    have singable lyrics.



    *Greedo wouldn't have been the only one with blue hair.



    *There wouldn't be Imperial-class Star Destroyers. Super-class Destroyers

    would be the *very bare minimum*.



    *The sound of the Force would have been "DONNNNG!" (a la Akira) instead of

    "WhwhWhwhWhwhWhwho..."



    *Three words: Super Deformed Stormtroopers.



    *Princess Leia would wear a sailor suit...and she would sing.



    *Vader wouldn't have to squeeze air to kill a guy with the force. He would

    just touch him and tell him "You are already dead," followed by gratuitously

    vile explosions.



    *Luke's aunt and uncle would run a dojo instead of a farm.



    *The Millenium Falcon would sport a big skull and crossbones.



    *Luke wouldn't have to use a rope to jump across a trench. Anime heroes can

    jump as far as they want to.



    *Emperor Palpatine would have a daughter. In an amusing mix-up, Luke would be

    betrothed to her.



    *Bandai would make kick-ass toys.



    *R2-D2 would be cuter...and he would fly.



    *The explosion of the Death Star would be shown with a sequence of watercolor

    paintings.



    *C-3PO would be a girl robot...with the hots for Luke.



    *People would actually drink beer in the cantina.



    *Luke would not build his own lightsaber. He would have to win it from a

    demoness who has been imprisoned for thousands of years... and who has the

    hots for Luke.



    *Obi Wan Kenobi wouldn't disappear when Vader cuts him down, he'd get sliced

    in half. It would just take him a couple of seconds to figure it out.



    *There would be a LOT more walkers.



    *X-wings would have cool heads-up displays.



    *Emperor Palpatine's legs and lower torso would dissolve into a mass of

    cables and merge with the new Death Star.



    *Did I mention Princess Leia's sporty yet feminine powered armor?



    *Speeder bikes would be replaced by monster-sized racing cycles...with lasers.



    *Boba Fett would have a bigger part.



    *A nemesis TIE fighter pilot would defect...and have the hots for Luke.



    *Luke wouldn't agonize over Vader being his dad until AFTER he killed him.



    *The American voice actors would be crap, and the subtitled version would be

    more expensive.



    *Series titles would be Star Wars, Star Wars Zeta, and Forever Star Wars

    Double Zeta. People would argue interminably about the time line conflicts.



    *And, last but not least, Imperial Stormtrooper armor would MOST

    DEFINITELY NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BE WHITE!!!!
    Susan A. Spann

    Something Here Coming Soon

    Member of the Estrogen Mafia and Proud Owner of THIS Thread (FOREVER D:< )



  2. #2
    Chronuss's Avatar
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    Default Re: If Star Wars were an Anime

    Quote Originally Posted by Miyu
    HOW STAR WARS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF IT WERE ANIME




    *X-wings and Y-wings would transform, and then combine to form a more

    powerful craft.



    *The Death Star's superlaser would have an even flashier charge-up sequence.






    *Leia wouldn't have a band of surgical tape constraining her generously-sized

    breasts in all three movies except for the Metal Bikini scene.



    *For that matter, Leia wouldn't have been wearing a Metal Bikini, either.



    *The music and soundtrack would be much worse and less orchestreated, but

    have singable lyrics.



    *Princess Leia would wear a sailor suit...and she would sing.



    *Luke wouldn't have to use a rope to jump across a trench. Anime heroes can jump as far as they want to.



    *C-3PO would be a girl robot...with the hots for Luke.



    *Luke would not build his own lightsaber. He would have to win it from a

    demoness who has been imprisoned for thousands of years... and who has the

    hots for Luke.



    *Did I mention Princess Leia's sporty yet feminine powered armor?



    *Speeder bikes would be replaced by monster-sized racing cycles...with lasers.



    *Boba Fett would have a bigger part.



    *A nemesis TIE fighter pilot would defect...and have the hots for Luke.



    *Luke wouldn't agonize over Vader being his dad until AFTER he killed him.



    *The American voice actors would be crap, and the subtitled version would be

    more expensive.



    *Series titles would be Star Wars, Star Wars Zeta, and Forever Star Wars

    Double Zeta. People would argue interminably about the time line conflicts.



    *And, last but not least, Imperial Stormtrooper armor would MOST

    DEFINITELY NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BE WHITE!!!!

    these are the truest ones on the list... especially about the X and Y wing...
    See, all I've gotta do is get loose like I'm fluid, dude, Rollin' up my sleeves on my gi and get into it. You and who, him and them? Line up in a single file. One on one, all for one...end up in a bigger pile. The ambiance of Martial Arts is constant, Nunchucks chuckin' when I step in the mosh pit. Wing Chun dummy getting splintered apart, Escrima sticks whippin' and I'm chipping the bark. What are you? A pink belt? I'll give you a head start. Kumite killin', with the spirit of Ed Parker.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: If Star Wars were an Anime

    Yeppers, it probably would be that way (R Rated). Get the kiddos outta the room!
    The truly educated never graduate.
    "To understand the heart & mind of a person, look not at what they have already achieved, but what they aspire to do." -Kahlil Gibran

  4. #4
    Chronuss's Avatar
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    Default Re: If Star Wars were an Anime

    the Clone Wars mini saga on Cartoon Network was pretty cool...very Samurai Jack-ish style of animation...why they took that show off the air, I'll never understand.
    See, all I've gotta do is get loose like I'm fluid, dude, Rollin' up my sleeves on my gi and get into it. You and who, him and them? Line up in a single file. One on one, all for one...end up in a bigger pile. The ambiance of Martial Arts is constant, Nunchucks chuckin' when I step in the mosh pit. Wing Chun dummy getting splintered apart, Escrima sticks whippin' and I'm chipping the bark. What are you? A pink belt? I'll give you a head start. Kumite killin', with the spirit of Ed Parker.

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