Mental Health Care Hotline

[Miyu]

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.



If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.



If you are co-dependent, please someone to press 2 for you.



If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.



If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.



If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small boice will tell you which number to press.



If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.



If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696.



If you have a nervouse disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.



If you have amnesia, Press 8 and stat your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, mother's maiden name, and blood type.



If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep ... or before the beep ... or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.



If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.



If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

[AstralProtector]

Very funny: what about the Kenpo assasin?