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Thread: Men's Answers to All the Questions

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    Default Men's Answers to All the Questions

    A MAN'S ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS:



    • WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?
      It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men
      suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life
      span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all
      the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormones modify behavior.
      We're just misunderstood.

    • WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?
      Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all
      the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you?
      Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better
      at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of
      photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

    • WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?
      We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him
      happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an
      added bonus.

    • WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?
      We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner
      frustrated by a few simple (and well-chosen) words.

    • WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?
      You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open
      it you get into trouble with your partner.

    • WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?
      Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it.
      It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so
      much of the world nowadays.

    • WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?
      Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that
      men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some
      extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure
      out how I feel.

    • WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?
      Please... How many hours do you think there are in a day? We
      oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need to go roam... Starve in cave...Must go find wildebeest... Now, sitting on
      our asses while fishing or watching football for hours on end on the other
      hand is a whole other story.

    • HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?
      Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by
      evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting
      tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for
      extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful
      hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time
      thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were
      all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost
      all modern men are born with this innate ability.

    • WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY "I LOVE YOU?"
      Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.

    • WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?
      Ho, Ho, Ho...Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure-fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.

    • WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?
    We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for
    other things.



    • WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?
      Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much.
      Besides, we know darn well you'll pick it up.

    • WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?
      This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.

    • WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?
      It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours
      to look at things we have no intention of killing? Err... buying?
    Susan A. Spann

    Something Here Coming Soon

    Member of the Estrogen Mafia and Proud Owner of THIS Thread (FOREVER D:< )



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    Mace is offline
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    Default Re: Men's Answers to All the Questions

    LOL, those were good!!!

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    Default Re: Men's Answers to All the Questions

    Glad you liked I felt it was time to share the humour archive on my HD ^_^
    Susan A. Spann

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    Member of the Estrogen Mafia and Proud Owner of THIS Thread (FOREVER D:< )



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    Default Re: Men's Answers to All the Questions

    everything on that list is so true.
    See, all I've gotta do is get loose like I'm fluid, dude, Rollin' up my sleeves on my gi and get into it. You and who, him and them? Line up in a single file. One on one, all for one...end up in a bigger pile. The ambiance of Martial Arts is constant, Nunchucks chuckin' when I step in the mosh pit. Wing Chun dummy getting splintered apart, Escrima sticks whippin' and I'm chipping the bark. What are you? A pink belt? I'll give you a head start. Kumite killin', with the spirit of Ed Parker.

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    Thumbs up Re: Men's Answers to All the Questions

    So, true! Thanks for the laugh.
    The truly educated never graduate.
    "To understand the heart & mind of a person, look not at what they have already achieved, but what they aspire to do." -Kahlil Gibran

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