LANTHANUM QUITS PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS



STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN -- The world of chemistry was shaken Monday by

lanthanum's announcement that the popular 57th element will quit

Transition Group IIIb of the periodic table at the end of the summer.

"I have nothing but good things to say about my time with the periodic

table," said the ductile, silvery-white metal, speaking from the site of

its discovery by Carl Gustav Mosander in 1839. "Nevertheless, I will be

stepping down after Labor Day to focus on my own earth-metal solo

projects." Rumors of a longtime feud with molybdenum and the constant

demands of lens manufacturing are believed to be behind the departure.